A christmas story
by Kessie
Summary: This is my version of a Firefly Christmas Carol! Enjoy!


**Fandom: Firefly/ Serenity **

**Setting: After Serenity so there are SPOILERS for the movies in it! Watch out! **

**Rating: R- ish I think! **

**Disclaimer: Not mine! All belong to this car rental guy from Veronica Mars or so I have heard! Just playing with them for a while! **

**Summary: This is my version of a Firefly Christmas story! Hope you guys like! **

**Dedicated to k8cre8 and Daikath for getting me a Serenity bag - Wheeee! And also because k8cre8 is a hell of a beta reader!**

**A Christmas story**

Serenity was humming along silently and Jayne was bored. They had been flying without a break for about two weeks now and hadn't managed to find a job.

That meant no fighting. Hence the boredom. Worse: it meant no money. Soon their stores would be pretty low. Clearly, they needed food, booze and other every day stuff, all of which would be difficult to get without money.

All of that made Jayne even grumpier than usual, and so it wasn't a big surprise when he responded with naught but a deep groan as Kaylee bugged him that Christmas was coming.

"Oh come on Jayne, just draw! Everyone else has! It's just a small gift! It's fun! Don't be a spoil-sport" Kaylee smiled her irresistible smile and Jayne set down the weights he had been lifting with a loud sigh.

_Fun! Yeah right!_ Kaylee was talking to the wrong guy. Worse, he knew she wasn't going to give up, either. So he took one of the last two slips of paper from the silver bowl Kaylee was holding in front of him.

" See that wasn't so hard!" Kaylee grinned and went off to the bridge to bother the Captain with her Christmas spirit. Jayne quietly unfolded his piece of paper.

" River"

Was written on it with huge, black letters. Jayne couldn't hold back a loud curse. _Tsao gao!_ Of course he had to get her! One of the people he least liked on the ship! One of the bloody Tams!

"Hey Jayne! Get ready…. we have a job!"

It was Mal´s voice which tore him out of his thoughts.

"We'll land on Persephone in two hours! Take your coat, it's damn cold down there!"

With that, the Captain was already back on his way to the bridge.

Jayne looked back at the tiny piece of paper in his hand. It still said "River." After a few minutes, he suddenly started to laugh maniacally. He'd give her a present for sure! Something she'd never forget! He knew just what it would be, and that made him cheerful for the first time in weeks.

The weather was really cold on Persephone which wasn't really surprising to Jayne since it was Winter on that planet. Nevertheless the snow kept getting on his nerves. He couldn't think of any reason why nature invented this cold, slippy substance called snow anyway. It wasn't like it was of any use!

Again he cursed when it started snowing harder. He put the last three crates onto the mule, signalling Mal he was nearly ready.

At least they had a job now.

It wasn't much. _Beggars couldn't be choosers_, he thought and worked on. He found it kind of ridiculous bringing Christmas presents from one planet to the next. He never had been one for Christmas anyway and thought lots of it was only commercial shit anyhow. He detested the so-called "Christmas spirit" and didn't even like the idea of celebrating Christmas with the crew. The only times he'd liked it was when he celebrated Christmas as a kid with his mom. But that was long gone. He was a grown up man now! And grown ups, thought Jayne, didn't need the silly Christmas spirit thingy. Especially not in a crew, which was, now that he reflected on it, more like a working environment! Bringing love and closeness and such things into that environment was never a good idea. All you had to do was look at what happened after Wash and Book died. That did nothing but send the whole crew into a deep and desperate distress. Well, except for him. He knew better then to mourn two men whom he barely knew. Sure, he did respect them but more than that? Ridiculous. A man should care for himself first, after all!

The last crate landed onto the mule with a loud thud and Jayne got onto it. Now they only had to get back to Serenity, and he could get on with his plan. Due to Kaylee´s cute Christmas gift exchange, each one of them would be going into town to shop, and he didn't want to waste a chance like that.

A chance for each of the Tams to be alone.

River was getting much better. Ever since the incident on Miranda her stability increased and her nightmares became less. Of course, they'd never fully be gone, but at least it was a start to a normal life.

Now that the Operative had let them go, they pretty much had an ordinary life and hadn't even been bothered by the Alliance once. Still, Mal made sure they wouldn't get too close to an Alliance cruiser and she was eternally grateful for that. With the Captain finally accepting her and Simon into the crew, the crew even more had become her family.

And she loved it the way it was.

Now she was on her way to get a tiny Christmas present for that big hunk Jayne. She hadn't a real idea what to buy, yet, but it was great to be allowed to go out alone again. She would browse through the market for a while and maybe she could find a cool new weapon or some of that polish stuff for Vera?

Only a few streets away, Jayne walked through the market, not really bothering to look around for a Christmas present. Now that he had signalled the men it was settled anyway. When he got back to Serenity, Christmas presents probably would be the last thing any of them would be thinking about. They would miss Simon at first, but he guessed they would eventually get over it. With Simon and River gone, it would mean less trouble for all of them anyway.

Oh and of course there was the money! He'd gotten enough, that, if he'd wanted to he he could cover the ship's operation for three months Maybe he'd even give the crew a cut, He was happy enough to share! The guys had promised him, that after they had gotten Simon and more importantly River, they would give him double his asking price. What more could a man ask for?

Maybe it was really Christmas after all!

Jayne was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't see it coming. Before he could react, a large board hit him squarely in the head. Lifelessly he slumped to the ground. Immediately, a few market people rushed to help the fallen stranger, trying to wake him up, but Jayne remained unconscious.

The harsh daylight blinded his eyes and it took Jayne a few moments to adjust to the brightness, before he could make out who was leaning over him. The reddish hair was a bit tousled but as he blinked the face soon grew into a well-known smile.

" Hey! There you are again!"

Jayne then slowly sat up, still staring like he was seeing a ghost, which probably was true.

"Wash!"

It was more then a statement then a question, since there was no doubt who was sitting right next to him on the ground.

"Yeah! Big surprise, huh?"

For the first time in years, Jayne was actually at loss for words. His head still hammered like he had been hit by a truck and he had no real idea what the hell had happened. He had to be dead!

The Wash guy just sighed. "No. You are not dead. But I am, which tells me that the Universe has a most inconvenient sense of humor. "

Jayne shuddered and rubbed his eyes again. Maybe he had been drinking? Yes. That was it. He'd overdone the booze again.

"Jayne, you weren't drinking anything, remember?" Wash said and Jayne looked even more scared..

"Would you believe I'm actually hear to warn you? Apparently, when you die, you get to do duty as a cliché., well, I got cast as the ghost of the Christmas past."

Jayne started to laugh like hell and forced himself to stand up.

"Ha! Now you busted yourself! I have to be dreaming because there is no way that any fictional character from some Darwin book could be visiting me!"

He turned to go.

" Dickens, Jayne! The Christmas Carol is by Charles Dickens! I guess I should just be glad you got my name right!" Wash sighed and grabbed his friend by his arm.

"And honestly, where would you go? … Look!"

He pointed to the ground where the unconscious form of Jayne was still lying in the dirt. Jayne immediately froze and started to look around, watching the people still hunching over him.

" They can't see you Jayne! And you won't wake up at least for a while yet! 'Cause first I have to show you something and prevent you from making a big mistake! Or, at least, this latest big mistake."

Wash grabbed Jayne´s other arm and soon they were up in the air, flying.

Jayne wasn't sure if he should start to laugh or cry. This sure had to be one of this weird hangover dreams.

Suddenly, the air grew a lot colder and they started to fly faster and faster. Strange lights appeared next to them only to vanish again into streaks of light due to the speed of their flying. Bile rose up in Jayne´s throat and he was sure if this were real he would be dead. This was probably the punishment for all his drinking!

The Wash guy next to him just laughed at his pale face.

" Never thought you'd get scared that easily! Don't worry we'll be there in a second!"

And with that they slowed down and landed onto something which looked like some kind of village square. Looking around Jayne suddenly knew where they were! This was none other than the town hall of his home village. Yes! There was the little church and only few inches further was the little town hall where he once was busted throwing stones into the windows Yep that definitely was home!

Wash guy was now standing next to him, eyeing his reaction to this place very closely.

"You remember?" he asked.

Jayne just snorted. Yeah. Of course he remembered his home village! But he had still no idea what this guy, who looked like his dead friend Wash, wanted from him. Before he could answer they suddenly heard voices from behind them. Immediately both of them turned around. Jayne wasn't sure if he was dreaming again. There, walking through the huge amount of freshly fallen snow walked a woman together with two little boys. That wouldn't have been that strange by itself, except, this woman looked exactly like his mum. Well, that is, if his mom had been much younger. And the boys walking behind her… he could have sworn that one of them looked like his cousin Thomas. What scared him more was the second one, who looked exactly like he himself did, when he was around age ten.

The woman turned around and called after the boys, who had lagged a bit behind, to throw snowballs at each other.

"Jayne ! Thomas! Will you two come now? The Christmas service is going to start soon and God doesn't like boys who show up too late!" The boys just giggled and ran after her, while the real, grown up Jayne was just stood there and stared after them.

Crazy! Yeah that was it! He had just gone bonkers! Like that little girl whom he had sold to those bounty hunters just a few minutes ago! This was probably his punishment for that!

"Come on, let's follow them!" the Wash guy said, and Jayne complied, since he thought he had no other choice anyway.

So the two of them watch as the mother and the young Jayne go to the church service. After it was over, they wandered home where the young Jayne got his first knife for Christmas. They watched them celebrate Christmas happily with lots of family and friends. Young Jayne even gave the blessing.

"That couldn't be you. No bursting to flames inside the church, and I think you even meant that sweet little prayer. Remembering to pray for puppies? I could hug the little you." The Wash guy laughed and Jayne just snorted again. Hey, he had been a child back then!

Whatever.

All that had stopped when his dad had left them a few years later.

Now he just wanted this to get over with and he told the Wash guy, "I don't care one hairy fig if I'm drunk or crazy or dead, I've had enough of this."

"Tsk, Tsk! Such language from our sweet cherub! Don't worry, our time will be over soon!" Wash said and again they were launched up into the air. This time the flight seem to go by even faster and only seconds later Jayne found himself on some kind of big farm, which he had never seen before.

People seemed to be rushing in from everywhere and obviously some kind of party was happening inside.

"Go in …!" Wash motioned Jayne and soon they found themselves inside some kind of big Christmas ball of what looked like the higher society types.

Nope, Jayne definitely had never been here!

" It's not all about you Jayne!" Wash declared and took his friend by the hand, leading him through the dancing and chattering crowd. Jayne followed rather unwillingly, the beautiful women on either side keeping him more interested. But after discovering once again that they couldn't see him at all, he gave up and just watched. It didn't take long until they reached their goal, which was a rather small corridor somewhere behind the kitchen. There, sitting on the floor was a little boy, playing with some kind of small ball, looking slightly sad. A second later a woman walked in, leading a small girl behind her.

" Simon! Didn't I tell you to look after your sister? She nearly caused a faux pas by throwing food on Mr and Mrs. DeLucre! Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't managed to stop her? "

The little boy just sighed and listened to the women going on about how important this ball was for their place in society and how ungrateful he was for not appreciating it! The little girl was now seated next to him and his mom disappeared again, leaving them alone. Simon sighed once again, but then smiled at his sister.

"Did you at least manage to hit Mrs Delucre´s hideous dress?"

River just giggled in response and now Simon was laughing too.

"Never mind!" He said and took the little sister into his arms. " Merry Christmas River!" And with that, he gave her the ball and she began playing with it.

"Okay, are we done now? I'm getting mightily bored here!" Jayne whispered, even though he knew that the kids couldn't hear him and Wash just sighed. To hell with him! It was like he never showed any feelings for anyone… except for his mom. Maybe.

So it wasn't really a big surprise that the flight back to the market place today was awfully silent. Wash had hoped that Jayne would feel for Simon and River but Jayne continued to call them "spoiled brats" and so he gave up.

" Listen Jayne… you are about to make a big mistake! Two other, much less attractive and witty ghosts will come and visit you and I for hope to hell, or whatever scares you, that will listen more to them than you listened to me!"

With that Wash vanished and the world around Jayne went black once again.

When Jayne woke up this time he was back in the market place in the real world. After shushing away the people who were still watching over him, he got up and walked further through the market, shaking his head.

Now that was a strange dream! He'd never thought anyone could dream such rubbish while being knocked out!

Whatever!

Now all he had to do was get back to Serenity and enjoy the money he just got! Plain easy, that!

This time, he hadn't counted on the flowerpot which was accidentally, yes, purely accidentally, dropped on his head by the gruelling fate a mere 20 minutes later, just before he managed to reach Serenity. And again he fell, unconscious, onto the dirty ground, this time unseen by anyone.

Cursing, Jayne got up for the umpteenth time to look around. Well, he was still in the tiny alley he remembered being in, so this just was a weird coincidence, right?

And hey, it was not like he believed in such things as ghosts anyway!

"If I were you, my son, I would reconsider such beliefs in the future."

Jayne turned around at the sound of a well-known voice and looked directly into the face of Shepherd Book.

_Tsao gao!_

Okay now these things definitely got too strange! He had gone mad, he was sure of it!

Book was just shaking his head at him. " Follow me Jayne!" He said and took him by the hand like a little kid. Jayne resisted at first but Book, strangely, seemed to be stronger than him. Soon they were flying through the air just as he and Wash did earlier. This time the flying didn't last long, since they landed directly in front of Serenity.

Seeing the ship the first time since he died, Book held his breath until they were onto the Cargo bay. Or at least Jayne assumed he did it because of that, though he wasn't sure ghosts or whatever Book was now needed to breathe anyway.

"You all right Sheppard?" he asked and Book just nodded. They continued to walk in silence until they reached the bridge. As Jayne looked through the door he could see Zoe and the Captain sitting on the pilot chairs, obviously waiting for him and the others.

" Captain, both Kaylee and Simon are way over time .. something's happened I'm sure of it! " Zoe was visibly uneasy.

" Zoe, maybe Kaylee just lost track of the time again and the Doc .. well .. !" Mal went silent for a while.

" Simon doesn't lose track of the the time sir! There's something wrong here, I can feel it!"

Now Book turned to see Jayne eyeing him curiously. "You know where they are, don't you?"

Jayne didn't say anything at first but then stammered. "Well the doc… he … but.. but I don't know anything about Kaylee!" he reassured Book who just watched him with a serious and accusing face.

" No .. it was just the Doc! I wouldn't allow them to take Kaylee! "

Book just sighed. "And you think they listened to you? Who do you think Kaylee is with at moment? Who do you think she went to town with?"

Jayne looked pretty beat "But .. !"

The glare coming at him from Book probably killed him. Well. If glares could do that sort of thing. Jayne was silenced immediately.

" I can't believe you could let them take anyone of our crew! I know you don't really like Simon but ..!" he took Jayne´s hand again and dragged him away from the bridge.

" Come with me .. I´ll show you what you did!"

This time they flew so fast that Jayne could barely blink before he found himself on the ground again. When he did, he blinked as he looked around, because he wasn't on Serenity anymore, he was in some kind of dark, moist smelling place which seemed to be an abandoned house Jayne shuddered at the coldness of the place even though he wasn't sure he could actually feel it.

" Where are we?" He asked Book. But he didn't get an answer. Then suddenly he heard something and a cold shudder went down his spine once again. Someone was here in this old, dark house. He was sure of it.

Slowly he followed the tiny noise and as got nearer to the source of the sound he could make out the sobs. And he didn't need to ask Book who was sobbing there. He knew.

The sobs got louder with each step and Jayne stopped in front of a large wooden door leading to a room. He knew the sobs had to come from here. He stared at it as if he was afraid to actually go in. Meanwhile Book was already went in the room, going directly through the wall, not bothering with the door. As When he noticed Jayne wasn't following, he stuck only his head back through wall, which caused Jayne to jump even more.

" Are you coming? Or are you nothing more than a big man who makes a big noise?" He teased. Jayne followed him reluctantly through the wall.

Finally inside the room, Jayne immediately could smell the faint hint of blood in the air, combined with Kaylee´s now weakening sobs made him increasingly uneasy. The room was quite dark, only illuminated by a small beam of light forcing its way inside through the cracks in the floorboards in the ceiling. Jayne had a hard time making out Kaylee and Simon in that darkness. He could see Kaylee hunched in one corner, obviously chained to the wall and Simon lying next to her, unconscious. Kaylee was shivering, either from the cold, or her sobs. Possibly both. At that moment, as they heard a unexpected, loud banging noise from the room outside. Jayne had had enough!

"Shepherd! Get me out of here! I´ll help .. shouldn't hav happened this way!" His words trailed off, Book could make nothing more out of Jayne's shouting before the door opened and two men entered, which made Jayne's screams intensify. Jayne recognised the men as the ones from whom he had gotten the money earlier. He knew that they would not stop after only killing Simon, so he directly went them.

" Taking her was not part of the deal!" he screamed, preparing for a blow. But the man in front of him didn't react at all. Jayne got even angrier as Book just sighed in the background. Just as Jayne most wanted to begin beating the man into a bloody pulp, the man walked right through him, causing him to shudder. Jayne stopped dead in tracks again, staring.

" Jayne... they can't see you. You knew that already!" Book motioned him to watch. The second man had switched on some kind of light and now Jayne could see the whole big mess. Kaylee was indeed chained to wall, looking really sacred and Simon lay on the floor, a bloody mess. Jayne also could see now that the men had guns and big, long knives, one of which was being aimed at Kaylee´s throat at that very moment.

" Now... what are we going to do with you little girl!" The man with the knife snarled. It was hard to make out who was more scared now, Kaylee or Jayne.

Kaylee quivered from the cold steel at her neck and closed her eyes in defeat. The man laughed and started to grope her, rumpling her clothes, interrupted suddenly by the other man's loud voice.

" Hold your horses, mate! Can't you keep it zipped for more than 20 seconds? The boss hasn't told us what to do with her yet and I'm tired of cleaning your smeary bloody messes. When we have the okay from the boss you can take her and hack her into bloody pieces, I don't care! But for god's sake follow the boss's orders for once!"

Both Kaylee and Jayne let out an enormous sigh as the man got off Kaylee.

" Ha... until we meet again, sweetness, then I'll hear you scream!" He laughed, and followed his companion out of the room, leaving his prisoners in darkness once again.

Jayne was totally hysterical now, walking up and down the room like a madman.

" Sheppard listen... I need to wake up now! I need to help her... please...!"

Book just nodded "Jayne, I expected nothing less of you... I'll apologize for sending you a third tumble, but you have to listen to third ghost as well. Remember to listen! It's important!" And before Jayne could say anything, everything went black around him once again.

It only took Jayne a few seconds to regain his balance once he was awake once more. Though his head was still throbbing like , he managed to get up pretty fast and run in Serenity's direction. Jayne didn't really care about the pain, physical pain had become an unwanted but common friend to him. What he knew has that he had a real friend, one he cared something about. Kaylee.

When he entered the cargo bay, Zoe was already heading his way; carrying some chunks of metal and other non-definable stuff which looked a lot like trash.

" Hey Jayne!" She greeted him. "Have you seen Kaylee and Simon? I was just about to head out and look for them…"

Jayne could only answer with a short " Kaylee…!" before destiny turned on him once again and Zoe, carrying all the heavy trash in her arms, slipped, and landed on him.

As Book had warned him, he was unconscious once again.

This time there wasn't even a ghost to greet him directly and Jayne was beginning to think Zoe had finally managed to kill him with the big chunks of metal. So he watched helplessly as Zoe called the Captain, and hauled his body into the infirmary, and failed to wake him up.

"He's not waking up... we need the Doc!" Mal stated the blatantly. Obvious Jayne let out a big sigh, knowing deep inside that if he died, it would be all his fault. He didn't even try to speak with Zoe and Mal this time, he just turned around and started to search for a ghost. He was sure there had to be one here somewhere.

" Hey, you gorram ghost thing or whatever you are! Get your ass down here!" He screamed, unsure if anyone, or anything, could hear him. "If Kaylee dies then it will be all your fault!"

Silence. Okay, he knew that last bit wasn't entirely true, but he didn't really know what else to say. He'd screwed up, big time!

"Hey! Show yourself! Now!" Again he shouted, and this time he heard a strange whooshing noise behind him.

"Jayne?"

When Jayne heard the voice, he wanted to scream, but instead all that came out was a strangled silent cry. He shot around, and his fears were confirmed. He was rewarded with the one of the faces he least wanted to see.

" Mum?" The word was barely whispered and yet held so much power.

"Jayne!" The voice was as soft and loving as Jayne remembered it. He shivered. No, this couldn't be true. No, he wouldn't allow it to be true! But he knew. The very fact that his mum was standing here in front of him, obviously a ghost, could mean only one thing.

" Mum… !" He stated, not really sure if he could ask the rest of the question. " You … are you … dead!"

Jayne´s mum just smiled silently and took him by the hand. This time Jayne followed willingly, although he knew that it wouldn't be a nice trip. They didn't say much once they were launched into the air. Except for an occasional sniffle from Jayne, their flight was silent.

It wasn't a long trip anyway. They had landed again in front of Serenity. This time, it was clear that some time had passed; most of the ship was covered in snow.

Jayne shivered once again even though he knew he couldn't feel the icy snow, nevertheless he felt as cold as he never did before.

"I'm going to show you your future now… pay attention!" his mum said and Jayne took a deep breath, bracing himself for what was to come.

"You have to watch very closely, it's important!"

At that moment they both heard some voices and immediately turned around to look for them. There, only a few meters away from them, were Mal and Zoe, each of them carrying a rather large bundle. Jayne knew straight away what, or rather, who it was. Mal looked like the devil himself, eyes hardened and lost, his whole face tough, bare of any sign of smile or even the faintest hope of a positive reaction. He clearly had had a rough time recently and seemed totally beat up.. Zoe didn't look much better. It wasn't much of a surprise when Mal suddenly tripped over a branch on the ground. He landed with the face flat in the snow and it took him a few seconds to get up again. The cloth around Kaylee´s body had been loosened by the fall and Jayne couldn't help himself as he stared at the battered mess. It was all that was left of his former crew mate's face.

" I didn't want her to .. !" He whispered but the look of his mother silenced him instantly.

Mal was now sitting next to Kaylee, attempting to cover her face with the cloth again, while Zoe was still standing behind him, the dead Simon in her arms.

" Do you think she will come back?" Zoe asked and Mal halted, shaking his head.

"I doubt it. She's probably on a killing spree right now, which isn't surprising after what they did to her brother." He cradled Kaylee´s head again and sighed.

" I wouldn't want to be Jayne when she gets her hands on him. Though, right now, I honestly would kill him myself. That _huan dan_ betrayed our or crew and for that I aim to make him pay!" His voice was quiet, which only made his threat more frightening. With that, he stood, taking Kaylee's body into his arms again.

"But, that will hold. First, it must needs to get them the proper burial they deserve!"

Zoe just nodded and followed Mal silently towards Serenity.

Meanwhile Jayne was shivering even more. They knew!

How did they know it was him?

His mum just sighed.

"Jayne Percival Cobb! You knew it wouldn't take a genius to figure that one out! Especially since you showed up bragging with your money just after both of them disappeared! And River… well she…"

Jayne held his hand up stopping her in mid sentence.

"Okay, I see that I made a gorram mistake, can I go back now? I promise I´ll get Kaylee out and then…"

He didn't get any further because his mum was furious now. She grabbed him by his arms, dragging him up in the air once again.

" I can't believe you still haven't learned one bit! Come with me, I´ll show you what you did!"

The next place they landed was some sort of graveyard. Jayne could see Zoe, Inara and Mal standing before two freshly made graves, bearing the holo-pictures of a smiling Kaylee and a slightly more serious Simon.

Zoe and Mal still seemed very battered, though slightly improved. Jayne watched them for a few seconds while they paid their last respects to their friends. Suddenly, he felt the hand of his mum on his shoulder.

" Look !" she said and pointed towards a few bushes and it took Jayne a few moments to realize that someone was sitting there, hiding. It didn't take him long to see that it was himself hiding in the bushes and he wondered what would bring him here after all that happened.

Kaylee. Yes, he would come because of Kaylee. But suddenly he heard a voice behind him. It wasn't Mal´s or Zoes or Naras, so he turned around immediately.

No that couldn't be!

He wished that he could scream and warn the three as a tiny figure with a huge sword came towards them. Even though he knew it wouldn't make a bit a difference, he couldn't help but shout.

River seemed so petite and fragile walking barefoot through the snow but Jayne knew that there wasn't even the tinniest trace left of the girl he once knew. Her eyes seemed hollow and rigid and it seemed like her only goal was to complete her mission. The misson set by the men with the blue gloves. The men who were standing behind her at that very minute.

" Kill them!" One of them said and Jayne shuddered, turning towards his mum, shaking his head in disapproval.

"No !" He pleaded. But the horror show which had just started to play in front of his eyes wouldn't stop. Worse, he couldn't even quit watching it.

River was now standing directly in front of her prey, just about to swing her sword at Zoe, who still looked her in the eye hoping to find something left of her former crewmate. But River was too far gone for sentiment. All she could do was try to evade her attacks and hope that she, Inara and Mal managed to stay alive somehow.

What followed went on so quickly, that Jayne could barely see it. River swung her sword first at Zoe, serving her a fatal neck wound. Then Mal jumped onto her back in an attempt to stop her. While Zoe sunk to the ground, River had already given Mal the slip. He now was lying on the ground, directly in front off her.

" River please! You don't want to do this! There must be something of you left…!" he pleaded but River already had taken the sword both hands, aimed for his chest and stabbed him. Mal stirred, spitting blood and trying to reach out to River, a second before he exhaled the last of his life, his breath forever silenced.

Inara shivered, but remained where she was. She knew that running away wouldn't really help, but only exhaust her in the cold winter air. She watched as River slowly came nearer and nearer. She had tried to kick River a few times before she stabbed Mal, but that didn't have any affect. Ever since she had seen River fighting the Reavers she knew better than to be surprised by this. Nevertheless, she wouldn't die without a fight.

She didn't last long. River was so fast that Inara barely saw the kick coming before it hit the front side of her neck, breaking it in one fast move. Without making a sound she sunk down to the ground, lifeless.

The hidden Jayne watched the whole tragedy, too, and now he ran out of his hiding-place, shooting at River with a small gun.

River stared at him for about a second, looking rather unimpressed. She moved so fast, that she was in front of Jayne in an blink. Jayne could do no more than land a grazing blow on her arm before she took his gun and pinned him to the ground in front of her.

"Now, see what you have done … Jayne !" She hissed. In a nanosecond, a shot split the cold, dusky evening. Jayne stared in horror as the other Jayne clutched his neck which was bleeding like mad.

" Watch closely!" River repeated, leaving Jayne lying in the snow to bleed to death. She approached the two blue gloved men.

"Mission …!" She said and shot the men into the head before they even could blink. "… completed!"

With that she moved towards the bodies of Zoe, Inara and Mal, kneeling down next to them for second, touching them almost lovingly to close their rigid eyes. And then she walked to Simons grave. Sinking down to the ground and kneeling in the snow with her bare knees, she began to rock, slowly, to a melody which only she could hear. She didn't rock long, only about a minute or so, before she took the gun. With a final glance at the bleeding Jayne, she aims the gun at her own head, pulling the trigger. " Squish !" she whispers.

The shot echoes, leaving the gasping Jayne the only one left alive; But only for a few minutes. He follows them soon, extinguishing all what was left of the mighty crew of Serenity.

"See what you did!" His mum whispers and Jayne couldn't say anything at all.

" You killed your whole family. For nothing more than money!"

Jayne stirs at these words. He turns to face her, with a serious look on his face.

"Family?" He asks incredulously. "They weren't my family…. My family is you. And maybe Thomas…!"

"They were. They have been for some time now. You just were too yellow-bellied to admit it! " She watches him with a sad look on her face. "Listen to your heart for once Jayne! You will feel it!" With that she toke his head in her hands and kissed him on the forehead.

" Don't give something up before you even tried it!" she spoke softly, and then catches his eyes. "I will always love you, you know! But I'm gone now, and it's time for you to realize what you already have! Take care of your new family. Do it for me, won't you?"

Jayne held his breath, unsure of what to say, only able to nod. His mum smiled. As the world returned to blackness, he hears nothing but a soft "Goodbye!"

This time, Jayne wakes in the infirmary, and he immediately leaps down from the table, causing Zoe, who watched over him, to jump.

"Jayne? Are you all right?" she asks, trying to steady him. He pushes her aside. With uneasy steps he manages to get to his bunk, while Zoe, walking behind him, asking a steady stream of questions.

"Get Mal, we have to help Kaylee and Simon!" He barks the order to Zoe, and while she runs off to get the Captain he rummages through his bunk, searching for his weapons. Where the hell is Vera? He could have sworn he had put her on his bed. While he rummaged around, a yellowed piece of paper suddenly fluttered down his wall. Carefully, he picked it up and looked at it for a second, realizing it was a picture of his mum. Giving the photo a quick kiss, he put it back on the shelf and headed out to search for Vera. He found her, and met Zoe, Inara and Mal in the Cargo bay where he explained what happened.

"I saw how Kaylee and Simon got took and followed them to an abandoned house. But as I had no weapons I came here and got knocked out!" He eyed Zoe for a second and she sighed, giving him a more or less apologetic look.

So he hadn't entirely told the truth but they could deal with that later.

Mal was already suspicious.

"You went out with no weapons?" he asked. But Jayne knew better then to deal with his question now and gave a weapon to both of them. Only seconds later they were already heading out with the mule and a bunchload of medical supplies. Inara stayed at Serenity to wait for River, who still wasn't back from shopping yet, set to come back any minute. If they got no word, in the next three hours, they would come after them. In the meantime, They'd get the infirmary ready for any given emergencies.

Once they were underway, it suddenly occurred to Jayne that he didn't really knew where the abandoned house actually was.

But the powers that be actually seemed to like him today, because at just that moment he saw one of the men with whom he had made the deal.

"Follow that guy!" he bellowed. Thanks God Mal did as he was told and didn't ask any questions. It didn't take long until the guy entered one of the less crowded alleys and instinctively Jayne and the others got off the mule and followed him on foot. Their instinct were proven right, as the kidnapper entered a large, rather decayed, house.

"Yeah! That's what I s… I mean, where I followed him!" Jayne immediately cursed himself for his near slip, but Zoe and Mal were already too busy planning the attack.

Slowly they snuck into the house, constantly checking their surroundings for unwanted attackers. They were lucky, and got to the large wooden door from Jayne´s second vision unharmed. Jayne was already eager to kick in the door, but just at that moment, they heard an unmistakable clicking noise behind them.

"One more step and you're dead!" Jayne remembered that voice all too well. He tried to remember why in the crackling cauldron of hell had he talked to him in first place? Right! Money! This was definitely one of his dumber ideas!

"Turn around with your hands up and..!" The voice began, but was strangely changed into an odd straggling noise. Before any of the three could turn around, all of the kidnappers were knocked out, with River standing triumphantly over them.

"Missed me?" She asked Jayne, as Zoe and Mal ran towards Simon and Kaylee. Jayne just stared at the slender figure he could barely make out in the weak light, as River walked past him.

He knew that she knew the truth, and that scared the hell out of him. He realized he'd probably end up like the men who were lying dead in front of him. For the first time in his life, he honestly thought he actually deserved it.

"Jayne would you quit that staring and just give us a hand here?" Mal's remark brought him back to the present. Jayne went into the room and helped carry Simon and Kaylee to the mule.

While they drove back to Serenity, Jayne constantly glanced at River, expecting some sort of reaction, but she just took care of Simon´s and Kaylee´s injuries.

"_Well then,"_ Jayne thought, "_we'll get there, eventually."_

Once they were "home", Kaylee and Simon were immediately taken into the infirmary and taken care of, while Jayne stayed behind.

Now he only had to wait until River told the others, sealing his fate.

With a loud sigh he closed the cargo door and started to clean Simon´s and Kaylee´s blood off the mule.

It was only until a few hours later when Mal came down with a sad look on his face.

"Jayne... it's your cousin Thomas… your mum… !" he didn't need to say more, Jayne instantly knew what he was talking about. A bit reluctantly Jayne went up to the com and was told things he already knew. His mom had died today, they suspected a stroke since it had happened so sudden.

"I'm sorry!" was all Mal could say before Jayne went to his bunk. He had to be alone now.

The three days until Christmas Eve had gone by fast and neither River nor the rest of the crew had confronted Jayne. Hell, he didn't even know if she had told them, but he still expected it to happen any second. Jayne mostly kept to himself these days, being a bit afraid to mingle with the others. He also thought a lot about his mum.

Both Kaylee and Simon were actually doing better. They would suffer no long term effects from their injuries, thank God. Kaylee was already up again, bringing happiness to the whole ship, even though her broken arm and the other scratches she got were still visible. She still had that Christmas vibe going and Jayne didn't know what to do, since he knew that once they found out, they sure wouldn't want to celebrate Christmas with him. Nevertheless, Kaylee didn't give up. This time it was impossible to avoid her, since all the work on Serenity was done for today.

"Jayne! We'll meet in the dining area at 6! I'm cooking Christmas dinner!" She smiled and went on to the infirmary, probably to see Simon.

Jayne sighed and tried to squelch the tiny bit in him that actually looked forward to the Christmas celebration. He'd best go, at any rate. It wasn't like the Kaylee-Christmas- commandos couldn't come to get him if he decided to stay in his bunk.

A few minutes before six Jayne got up and slowly walked towards the dining area. From afar he already could hear the laughter and joking. He wasn't surprised when everyone was already there when he entered.

" Merry Christmas Jayne!" Kaylee declared happily and everyone joined.

"Merry Christmas!" Jayne answered, sounding a bit awkward, then settled down and started to look around. Everybody except Kaylee was sitting at the table, each of them having a small package in front of them. Jayne eyed the packages suspiciously for a moment before he realized what had happened: he forgot the gift exchange!

Gorramit! The girl for sure wouldn't like it when he told her that he forgot her present and when she would read his mind she …

He didn't want to think about that. It was far too late to get a present. As Kaylee put the last bit of food on the table, she announced "Okay I'm ready! Lets exchange the presents and then indulge in the yummy!"

And so they started.

Kaylee was first. She handed her package to Inara who was happy to get her favorite type of incense.. Inara, in her turn, gave Simon excitedly a book for which he had been searching for months.

"Wow! How did you manage to get it?" he asked. She smiled. "Being a companion has its advantages. Including knowing lots of people who are interested in good books!"

More gifts were exchanged, and Zoe received a shiny new holster for her gun from Simon and Mal a small replica of a war weapon from Zoe.

But the biggest gift of the evening was reserved for Kaylee. She was shocked to find a shiny new dress from Mal. She grinned fit to split her face, and she tried it on immediately. In her excitement, she nearly forgot their meal.

"So, who's left?" Kaylee cooed when she finally sat down again. Jayne cursed inwardly as River got up.

"I have something for Jayne!" She said, almost shyly, and gave him a small package. He stared at it for a few seconds, before the " Open it up"- chanting got too loud to ignore. He opened it cautiously.

"I found it in your bunk and thought it needed a proper frame!" River declared. Jayne just stared at the gift, fighting the tears threatening to fall.

There, in his hands, lay the picture of his mum from his bunk. He'd always wanted to frame himself, but had forgotten. Now it had a beautiful frame, saving it from getting bent or otherwise destroyed. Below it was a framed picture of the Serenity crew, with Wash and Book, taken shortly before it all went to hell on Miranda.

The pictures elicited lots of "Awws" and "Ahhs" from the crew and Jayne smiled. A few days ago he would have been angry that River even dared to enter his bunk without asking, but now he was strangely happy about it.

Again, he blushed at the thought that he had nothing for River. As he caught her eye, preparing an apology and wanting to show her that he truly meant it.

" River, I don't have…!" he started, but River jumped up and declared happily:

" Jayne already gave me a very cool gift!"

Jayne stuttered. He had not expected that. "I have?" River look at him reassuringly. He nodded. "Uh yeah, of course. I have?"

"Yes, silly. And it's a secret and I won't tell!" River giggled. "Let's see. There were some ghosts and flying blackouts. And puppies. And you'll hear no more about it from me. Secrets aren't always for telling!"

Jayne nodded once again, slowly realizing what she had meant.

He didn't know if the ghosts had been real. Maybe River made him hallucinate, but he honestly didn't even care.

He was glad that she forgave him.

And he happy that he had a family.

The end


End file.
